"Zionist" Clowns

It is quite helpful when a menacing challenge confronting the Nigerian nationhood lends itself to comic relief. You get to see that it could well be a huge, though avoidably expensive joke after all. The portentous clouds have far more light vapour than potential water torrents in them. That is to say the heavens aren’t about to fall, and all these past exertions with hate rhetoric and brash sabre-rattling were just needlessly overreaching. Rather, we can get some good laugh at one another as we interrogate the riling joints of our shared communality in a sincere endeavour to come up with expeditious redress.   

Nothing better indicated that the separatist passions which had hitched this country onto a cliffhanger for some while now need a lot more thinking through than the ‘Zionists’ tomfoolery early last week. A little known separatist group touting as Biafra Zionist Federation (BZF) stepped up to the dais, declaring purported secession of the ‘Republic of Biafra’ from Nigeria effective from Tuesday, August 1. The group’s self-acclaimed leader, Benjamin Onwuka, at a press conference in Enugu declared himself ‘Interim President’ of the phantom republic, whose geographical boundaries and capital city were not stated. And really, there was scant evidence that such essential dimensions of a human collective laying claim to statehood had even been faintly contemplated.

Onwuka told journalists that an interim government with a 30-day lifespan had been formed. “The interim government will take off on August 1 and last till August 31, 2017,” he said, without providing explanation on how the successor government would crystalise.

But you should save the golden prize in impudence for the government that had been allegedly formed. Onwuka omitted naming a vice president for his purported republic, but he threw up House of Representatives member from Plateau State, Beni Lar, as Secretary to the so-called Biafra government. Reputed scholar Professor Pat Utomi made the bill as Foreign Minister, while former Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) Governor, Professor Chukwuma Soludo, was announced as helmsman of a Central Bank of Biafra whose envisaged currency of exchange and value denominators seemed yet to be fathomed. Former Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) Director-General and currently Treasurer/Vice President of the World Bank, Ms. Arunma Oteh, was listed by Onwuka as potentiated to find a stronger attraction in handling the phantom republic’s Finance ministry.

Two former Federal Information Ministers who are reputed for skillset in communication tasks, Professor Jerry Gana (from Niger State) and Labaran Maku (Nasarawa), were tipped for Transport and Aviation portfolios respectively in the 30-day ‘cabinet’. So also were Gabriel Oluwole Osagie, for Education, and Philip Effiong Jnr. for Health. And Professor Barth Nnaji, a world class Nigerian with globally credentialed expertise in robotics and former Federal Minister of Power, was touted lined up for better relevance as the purported Biafra’s Energy minder.

Others listed for the separatist wild ride included the President-General of Ohanaeze Ndigbo, Chief Nnia Nwodo, who incidentally has been very vocal in asserting that what Ndigbo seek is not secession from Nigeria but decisive relevance in the nationhood: he was tipped by Onwuka as Ambassador to the United States in the alleged government. And there were ace broadcaster Amarachi Ubani, named Minister for Information; and Mary Okafor as Minister for Trade and Industry.

For a government purported to be taking effect at once, it was quite obvious that Onwuka had no prior consultation with the persons named before he outed with his ‘cabinet’ list. Online news site, pulse.ng, reported Utomi as dismissing his ‘appointment’, saying: “There are so many distractions in this country. Please, let’s focus on important things.” And Maku, according to the site, denied any knowledge of the separatist group, even though he linked its agitation with “failure of leadership and structural deficiency” in Nigeria. Besides, he said he couldn’t have fitted the ‘Biafra’ bill considering the area of this country he hailed from. Most of the others named have simply ignored the verbiage.

There was no indication though that Onwuka was any whit clear headed about his agenda, as he had claimed that the named persons were drawn from areas comprising Biafra’s territory. And when journalists at the Enugu press conference tittered at his sheer effrontery as he reeled out those names purported to be of his ‘cabinet appointees’, he reportedly glared at them and retorted: “This is not a laughing matter.”

The point to be made here is that similar befuddlement irredeemably bogs all separatist exertions by groups strutting this country today, not minding their mutually excluding aspirations. And let me say it was commendable maturity on the part of the security services that they ignored Onwuka on account of his verbal ranting by which he perhaps was seeking cheap martyrdom, unlike in June 2014 when he was reportedly arrested and charged with treason after leading some members of the BZF to invade the Enugu State Broadcasting Service studios in a botched bid to announce purported Biafra secession.

But it bears asking where the meeting point falls between the ‘Zionists’ wild ride and frenetic advocacy for same statehood by Nnamdi Kanu’s Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB). Because from indications, Onwuka’s gamble last week seem angled to pillage the relevance of Kanu’s IPOB; and that was just as IPOB itself effectively sidelined the once pivotal Movement for the Sovereign State of Biafra (MASSOB) with which it now has an adversarial relationship in the separatist crusade. Worse, none of these groups seem to have a clear perspective of the purported statehood’s territorial limits. And so, when Kanu in violation of his bail terms visited some Southeast states in July for advocacy rallies that were reportedly attended by mammoth crowds, he was simultaneously confronted by many indigenes who voiced strong loathing for his dream republic.

Up North, the separatist Coalition of Northern Youths (CNY) fared hardly better. In the closing days of July, there were publicised parleys by coalition leaders with the Northern Governors Forum (NGF) chair and Borno State Governor, Kashim Shettima, who after those meetings was upbeat that the quit notice issued residents of Igbo origin in the North by the youths was about to be withdrawn. Late last week, though, the self-assigned group insisted that the notice subsisted, but with a caveat. “We stand by our notice, but those who are interested in Nigeria can stay (while) those who are not interested can go,” its leader, Shettima Yerima, said after a meeting in Kano.

Even then, the youths recognised their limitation in giving their notice real effect. “We don’t have the right to force the people to go. So, we are using peaceful means because we don’t have police and army,” Yerima added.

It should be obvious, in my view, that the path of hate and bile in addressing Nigeria’s nationhood challenges are severely circumscribed. Honest dialogue holds out a better a promise