Their highnesses, Tyson’s protégés

Next time their royal highnesses in the Iwo Traditional Council hold their meeting, they may need to have former world heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson on stand-by retainership to teach emergency drills in pugilism as a means of royal conversation.

One might have recommended the reigning act, Anthony Joshua, for that queer brief. But he would probably be too busy getting in shape for his next fight likely to be in a few months. Besides, his charges would most certainly be out of reach. Tyson is in retirement and would be more disposed to attend to their royal highnesses’ pleasure at moderate cost.

Rather than be stewed and seasoned in the arcane chemistry of deity representation as tradition has always taught, their highnesses may need to individually engage keep-fit trainers for body building and muscle toning regimens ahead of their periodic meets. And when going for such meets, it might just be wise to be properly kitted in sporting trunks beneath their royal regalia, which itself should be designed for easy and swift disposal when occasion calls. In short, going forward, royal reserve should readily be transplanted with physical agility and pugilistic dexterity.

These peculiar prescriptions derive from the example lately offered by members of the Iwo Traditional Council, from whom fisticuffs showed up as handy means of royal conversation. And surprise! Surprise! The driver of this novelty is none less than the chairman of the council, Oluwo of Iwoland, Oba Abdulrasheed Adewale Akanbi. The Oluwo showed just how royal reserve could readily give way for physical aggression penultimate weekend by punching up fellow monarch, Agbowu of Ogbaagbaa Oba Dhikrulahi Akinropo, during a purported peace meeting convened at the office of the Assistant Inspector-General of Police, Zone 11 Command in Osogbo, the Osun State capital. Of course, royals fight their own petty wars just like everybody else. After all, they are human, though purported to embody the deities. But a burst-up into physical scuffle while donning typically elaborate traditional regalia? That was an ingenious spectacle of inverted royalty deserving of nomination for the Oscars if it had been captured on celluloid!  

Feuding by members of the traditional council over land control had necessitated the peace parley, which the police chief reportedly called over specific complaints by the Oluwo that monarchs of the towns adjoining Iwo were selling off land tracts without his authorisation. The whole dispute, as it seems, was over hegemony: the Oluwo considering the monarchs over whom he presides in the traditional council answerable to him, whereas those monarchs consider themselves sovereign and answerable only to themselves. To boot, the Oluwo accused the monarchs of greedily appropriating their subjects’ land holdings and selling off for their own personal gains.

Deliberations at the peace meeting, which also had Osun State government officials in attendance, took a curious turn when the Oluwo reportedly took on Oba Akinropo physically, confounding the police chief and state government officials moderating the forum and sending them scampering to separate a battered Agbowu from the grip of the Oluwo. The Agbowu was thereafter taken to the state General Hospital in Osogbo where he was reported treated for trauma and bruises sustained from the incident.

Some other members of the traditional council condemned the Oluwo and demanded that he be suspended from office by the Osun State government for his unroyal act. They also urged criminal investigation of the incident by the police and prosecution of the Iwo monarch in court.

‘The conduct of their highnesses in the Iwo traditional council…is a disgrace to customary royalty. Other monarchs outside the council should rise in defence of this institution by renouncing them as rouge representatives’

In his pushback, the Iwo paramount ruler did not deny getting physical. He argued rather that he was the first to be assaulted by the Agbowu, and had only acted in self-defense. According to him, the peace parley was convened by the police chief over land sales by the monarchs under his hegemony who had ganged up to rebuff “the authority of Oluwo who gave them their crowns.” He further explained: “At the peace meeting held at the AIG’s office, Agbowu of Ogbaagbaa interrupted me while making my speech and called me unprintable names. He poked his staff of office at me and attempted to stick the staff in my eyes, which was heavily rejected with a force that Agbowu could not withstand.” In other words, the physicality was allegedly incited by the Agbowu, who only could not finish up what he had started. My take: see where emergency drills by Mike Tyson could have foisted mutual détente? Besides, perhaps none of the parties would have ended up in hospital for medical attention if muscle-building drills had been a standard menu in royal routine!

Members of the public have since, for most part gullibly, joined in the fray: some having protested in support of, and others in condemnation of the Oluwo. But the monarch dismissed protests against him as an attempt to dampen his resolve to defend peasants in Iwoland and its environs – with brawn, if necessary? “What played out at the peace meeting was a gang-up to twist my hands backward and prevent me from defending the poor people they (that is, the other monarchs) have continued to oppress with impunity. It was a case of the oppressor fighting back against the defender of the oppressed,” Oba Akanbi was reported saying.

And really, it is without doubt a noble mission to champion the cause of the oppressed. The catch is: now that traditional rulers are resorting to fisticuffs in exercising their leadership mandate, where would be the community wellspring of temperance, moderation and moral suasion?

Sarcasm aside. The conduct of their highnesses in the Iwo traditional council – particularly the Oluwo of Iwoland, and Agbowu of Ogbaagbaa if truly he first poked his staff at the Oluwo – is a disgrace to customary royalty. Other monarchs outside the Iwo council should rise in defence of this institution by openly renouncing them as rouge representatives.

Beyond civil repudiation, appropriate administrative sanctions need to be applied – not only to deter a repeat by their highnesses, but also to hold up the incident as a bad example not to be emulated by their subjects. Assault and battery are conducts that ordinary citizens must avoid if they do not want to be entangled with the law. Monarchs should not be seen to model impunity under that same law without being called to order.

Osun State government’s respect for tradition, which informed its disposition to stay out of the fray, is well appreciated. “We believe in the dignity of traditional stools and sacredness of royalty…Government is aware that the State Council of Traditional Rulers has stepped into the matter and we are confident that the council will take appropriate steps to preserve peaceful coexistence among Obas in the state,” it said in a statement. But then, the government’s cautious reserve should not be an abdication of responsibility to safeguard society’s morals. The very thing the combatant Iwo council monarchs did was jettison “the dignity of traditional stools and sacredness of royalty,” and the least Osun government could do is rebuke them, even if in private. This is a responsibility not to be sacrificed on the altar of political correctness.