Point One

Next time their royal highnesses in the Iwo Traditional Council hold their meeting, they may need to have former world heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson on stand-by retainership to teach emergency drills in pugilism as a means of royal conversation. One might have recommended the reigning act, Anthony Joshua, for that queer brief. But he would probably be too busy getting in shape for his next fight likely to be in a few months. Besides, his charges would most certainly be out of reach. Tyson is in retirement and would be more disposed to attend to their royal highnesses’ pleasure at moderate cost. Rather than be stewed and seasoned in the arcane chemistry of deity representation as tradition has always taught, their highnesses may need to individually engage keep-fit trainers for body building and muscle toning regimens ahead of their periodic meets. And when going for such meets, it might just be wise to be properly kitted in sporting trunks beneath their roya...

If we take the word of Borno State Governor Babagana Zulum as gospel, it was a disaster foretold yet not averted. Terrorists struck with impunity in Auno, Konduga council area of Borno, penultimate Sunday, leaving blood and charred bodies in their wake. Some 30 travellers were reported killed, most of them burnt to death during their lay-by sleepover at the rural community on Damaturu-Maiduguri road. More than 20 others were abducted and herded away by the assailants, who left 18 vehicles and other items razed in a fiery monument to their demented exploits. The travellers had been compelled to lie over because military personnel manning the highway had locked up the thoroughfare at a checkpoint they mounted close to the Auno community. There is a curfew regime on the highway effective from 5p.m. daily; and even though many of the travellers got to the point a little past 5p.m., they were forced to spend the night there because of the lockout by soldiers who deserte...